Project 1/3

Brett The Intern, a YouTuber, has embarked on a life changing journey which he calls “Project 1/3.” The goal is to lose 1/3 of his body weight by April of 2014. His starting weight was 330 lbs. Six weeks have flown by and Brett has lost over 20 pounds. I’m subscribed to his channel and watch his videos every week for updates.

Every time I see YouTubers begin a huge project or life changing event, I yearn to be there with them in person. As I watch these videos, I am motivated and determined to start my own journey the next day. *cue Rocky theme song*

I remember why I started this blog and let’s just be honest here… I’m failing at my mission to find a healthier lifestyle. However, I must note that many things have changed since post one. Watching Brett’s videos have made me reanalyze why I want to change my lifestyle.

I think I’m approaching this the wrong way… What do I want the most out of this? Health or the ability to be confident while with others? What is weight loss really about? Am I really doing this because I want the “lifestyle” change or because I’m tired of being fat? Why do I consistently make myself miserable by asking these questions?

Welcome to confession.

I hate the fact that this isn’t easy. There is no pill, no magical exercise that will immediately tone my midsection, and no mental Band-Aid for the self hate that accompanies being 70 pounds overweight. I also immensely despise how I feel after hours of negative self-talk on a daily basis. I can go on and on about why this sucks…

Yesterday, something must have clicked because instead of moping, I took my anger to the streets. My shoes were laced, my dog was at my side, and I had a small goal in mind: run.

I ran my frustrations into the ground. It wasn’t marathon running, but it was the fact that I did something. I had forgotten how much I love to run.

So, when my anger gets to me I plan on going for a run to clear my head. I guess my emotions are good for something, right? 😉

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